Saturday, September 12, 2009

My first time [with Judy Blume's FOREVER]

How did I manage to survive my teenage years without ever reading this book? Seriously, people.  It’s not like I didn’t know about the wonders of Judy Blume.

I first read Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret when I was in fourth grade (I’m pretty sure my parents had no idea what it was about and probably felt safe because it had the word God in the title), and then I re-read it countless times throughout the next few years, which I spent wishing that I, too, would someday have breasts the size of tennis balls.

I even tried Margaret’s “I must, I must, I must increase my bust” exercises, pumping my arms back and forth like an adolescent aerobics show host in front of my bedroom mirror, just waiting for it to work.

Ah, puberty.

If Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret is the literary guide to getting your period, then Forever is the guide to losing your virginity.

You see, Katherine is a high school senior who has kissed a few boys but hasn’t gone anywhere close to ALL THE WAY…then she meets Michael. And they fall in love. That fervently urgent kind of teenage love where every minute that you’re apart feels like a year, and the other person is all you ever think about, and the concept of staying together forever—even though you’re not even out of high school yet—seems completely realistic, and the biggest decision you have to make is when to have sex.

Remember back when sex was such a big, mysterious, unknowable thing?

Judy Blume does, and she presents Katherine’s worries, insecurities, and experiences with her trademark matter-of-factness. Many authors are able to recreate adolescent angst and the heart-fluttering, cheek-flushing, tingly-all-over feelings of young love, but none of them—at least none that I’ve read so far—handle sex and the “first time” with such honesty and skill. Katherine and Michael love each other and want it to be special, but Michael—the typical teenage boy—is ready way before Katherine is and occasionally expresses his frustration that she’s so slow to give it up. As they gradually round the bases, Katherine describes the coinciding elation and confusion she works her way through as she struggles to reconcile her desire to have self-control with her growing desire for Michael, and when they finally do it, it’s not perfect, but that’s okay.

Thank God for Judy Blume and the fact that she isn’t afraid to tell teenagers the truth about the first time. It’s not perfect. It can’t be.  But if you know what to expect, and you’re with someone you care about, it’s an important first step. And then, of course, you get all the fun of practicing. wink wink, nudge nudge.

I read Forever in one sitting, and HOO BOY did it take me back.  It made me remember what it was like to be Katherine’s age, fumbling toward adulthood and looking for guidance but not really knowing how to talk about it. I was lucky to have a mom who told me about the birds and the bees, and later about the Pill, and who wanted me to talk to her. For those who aren’t so lucky, have no fear. Judy Blume is here to tell you the truth about teenage sexuality.

Forever is about young love and first sexual experiences, and it presents a wonderfully positive message about how meaningful those experiences can be under the right circumstances. It acknowledges teenagers’ feelings and accepts them as real and valid, and it gives a healthy depiction of responsible sexual expression, complete with a visit to Planned Parenthood and a brand new prescription for the Pill. Sex is fun, kids, but you have to be safe, too, and Judy Blume wants you to know it. This book is readable and easy to relate to, and it manages to address important issues without being preachy. So I’ll say it again, you’ve gotta love Judy Blume. There’s a reason her books are still widely read and loved more than thirty years after their original publication.

(Unless, of course, you prefer to live under that rock where you can believe that teenagers don’t think about sex and aren’t having sex and really shouldn’t have any information about it. And if you can manage to convince yourself of that, man have I got a bridge I’d like to sell ya.)

If I could travel back 10 or 15 years and give my younger self a copy of Forever, I would. Especially if I could give it to the younger me who really did think that first boyfriend was forever.

[Via http://thebookladysblog.com]

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