As a book review blogger for Thomas Nelson Publishers I received a copy of this book in exchange for my comments.
But each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself, and a wife must respect her husband.
(Italics mine) (Ephesians 5:33 – New Century Version)
The book is based upon Ephesians 5:33, which is certainly a good start to a healthy marriage.
Summary:
This book offers a way to repair broken (or breaking) relationships by referring readers to an application of Ephesians 5:33. The manner in which he expresses the differences between men and women (pink and blue hearing aids, for example) gives a simple answer to complex issues. If the husband loves his wife unconditionally and the wife respects the husband unconditionally, relationships are healed.
What did I think?
The book is a compilation of mistakes he has made in his own marriage, situations gleaned from his years as a relationship counselor and letters from attendees of his seminars. I found it to be more of a memoir than a helpful book about marriage, as well as a promotional vehicle for his seminars and DVD series. For me, I think that using this scripture as a ‘fix all’ for marital discord is problematic. It certainly seems that the writer treats it as the ‘magic bullet’ to a harmonious relationship.
The title of the book sets the tone, a woman desires love, but the man needs respect.
The author writes “As a husband, I am always seeking to decode what my wife is feeling” (page 82). What exactly is he saying? That his wife hides her feelings on purpose hoping that he can figure them out? That it’s up to the husband to ‘decode’ her thoughts? My wife of 28 years tells me what she’s thinking, as long as I listen. Maybe he needs a stronger blue hearing aid or a blue muzzle so that he doesn’t talk over her when she’s talking to him.
Dr. Eggerichs acronyms to identify each persons’ needs (C-O-U-P-L-E and C-H-A-I-R-S) made the book seem ‘high-schoolish’ instead of written for adults – with the needs of the husband more substantial than the feel-good needs (read desires) of the wife.
All in all, I feel like the book missed a golden opportunity to build something useful based on a scriptural principle. If a man does love his wife as Christ loved the church, and the woman respects her husband – the basic foundation of the house is solid. But if you don’t put in a couple windows, you can’t get sunlight, an occasional breeze or keep out the storms.
As always, the opinion expressed is my own and your comments are welcome!!
Even though I did not care for the book, many, many people do – I will give my copy away to one person who posts a comment to my blog.
So, post away, whether you agree with me or not. If you’ve heard good things about this author and would love the book – comment here – I will make the selection on November 10th – if you want this book, talk to me – be sure to leave an email address and I will contact the winner by email.
Happy Reading,
Michael
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